There are two realities to which you must cling. First, God has promised that you will receive the love you have been searching for. And second, God is faithful to that promise. - Henri J.M. Nouwen from The Inner Voice of Love
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          I did not need to read more than those three sentences this week to be struck down by the impact of what is said here.  The idea of the faithfulness of God is one that I know to be true, but still wrestle with constantly, especially lately when it comes to my current relationship status. 

            Christian-ese will tell you that Psalm 37:4 is true, “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”  So if you desire to be married, as I do, then God will grant that desire if you delight in him.  First, what does that mean to delight in God?  I do not think that theology and relationship with the creator of the universe is like a genie who knows my heart.  When I rub the lamp, or take delight in God, BOOM, desire of the heart granted.  I may not have been around for very many years, but I do not think that is the way it works.  I know that the desire in my mother’s heart was for my sister to have lived and not committed suicide.  I do not think that will ever cease being a desire for my family.  Yet my sister is gone.

 Nouwen talks about homecoming, a concept for me which has never been very clearly established.  Home for me is where my family is, but it has no geographic understanding – perhaps that is better, because homecoming to God also has no geographic location.  It is the comfort and satisfaction that we find when we seek Christ in the depths of our heart.

The band Luminate has a song out called “Come Home.”  Every time I hear it, I am reminded of my past relationships.  It dawned on me when reading this piece from Nouwen that it also describes me.  My quest to find a relationship can be viewed as parallel to my trust in Christ.  Do I trust in God to bring me what I need?  Do I recognize Christ as my home, where I can be safe and can receive what I desire?  Am I prepared for that desire to be fulfilled in ways that I may not be expecting?

All I do know – the only answer that I have, is that my heart will have rest, when I meet God in the place he calls me; my true home.  The all-fulfilling love of God is what I need to cling to.  It is what I am called to cling to.  It's all I have until I can come home.